We asked Toronto-based somm (and lover of long hairs) to offer up her silliest wine names for cats.
It’s no secret that city-dwelling sommeliers have a penchant for kitty-cats. Maybe it’s because they purr when you stay home to study wine. Or, maybe it’s because they act just as bipolar as you do when you drink. Either way, it’s perfectly fitting to name your cat after something wine-related.
Wine Names for Cats
Sphynx: Hairless, skinny, curious, and meant to be revered. Pinot (Noir): Dignified, fussy, delicious, and meant to be revered.
Bengal: Like a baby leopard. Rare. Expensive. Unusual. Champagne: Like your baby; the best, even if you can’t afford it.
Orange Tabby Cat: He’s fat and lazy, but loveable, like a lasagne-eating cartoon cat. Malo(lactic Fermentation): The process that makes the buttery, round, oaky Chardonnay that is always there for you.
Long-Haired Cat: It could be a small cat, but you can’t tell because of all that hair. Lees: Lees is a popular winemaking method that makes white wines richer and creamier.
Persian Cat: Dignified and ornamental, with a soft musical voice and All. That. Hair. Peluda (Garnacha): AKA “Hairy Grenache,” from the French pelut, meaning “furry.” Really.
Munchkin Cat: Small, sweet, people-pleasers, with larger than life personalities and stubby legs. Brix: Sugar metering system, perfect for a sweet, energetic little dude.
Scottish Fold Cat: Fuzzy, poofy and round, with owl-like faces. Merlot: In the new world, a lush warm hug of a wine, for your warm hug of a cat.
Ragamuffin Cat: Always friendly, and they have a tendency to overeat. Magnum Bottle: What’s better than one bottle of wine? Why, an even bigger bottle, of course.
Manx Cat: No tailed charmers that hop like rabbits. Vinho (Verde): Spritzy and bright, with aromas that bounce out of the glass.
British Shorthair Cat: The round-faced inspiration of the Cheshire cat. Solera: The aging method for Sherry wines that makes them gain roundness (and puts a smile on your face).
Lykoi Cat: The werewolf cat…partially hairless, totally weird. Refosco: The wines are strong flavored, tannic, and usually show a slight bitterness. Perf.
Calico: Your multi-colored friend. (Pinot) Gris: A grape that’s not really red and not really white. It makes wines that range from white to deep orangey-pink.
Tuxedo Cat: The most dapper little kitty you ever did see. Somm(elier): “Sohm-mul-yay” After all, he’s already got the outfit.
Black Cats: One that you’re obviously cool with crossing your path. Nero (d’Avola): Nero means “black” in Italian, so this Sicilian wine is great choice!
Needy Cats: You can’t leave the house without him weaving between your legs asking what you’re abandoning him for now. Pedro (Ximenez): A cloyingly sweet wine for your cloyingly sweet cat.
Smart Cats: Like Einstein, but not. Your lil’ buddy better be a smarty. Ice Wine: One of the sweetest wines in the world. Made entirely of grapes naturally frozen to the vine.
- Dom: “Dom,” after Dom Perignon. When your cat is the closest thing you’ve had to a fatherly figure in your life.
- Krug: “Kroooog.” This guy needs a bubbly personality.
- Brion: “Bree-on,” after Château Haut Brion, the only winery in Bordeaux with a Premier Cru Classé red and white wine!
- Screagle: “Skree-gull,” the pet name for the Napa Valley cult wine, Screaming Eagle.
- Möet: “Moh-ET,” One of the most globally recognised Champagne houses.
- (Nebuchad)nezzar: A bottle named after a Babylonian king that holds 20 standard bottles of wine. Perfect name for a fat cat.
- Unico: “You-nee-ko.” One of Spain’s top Tempranillo producers. They’ve tamed a wild thing (the Tempranillo grape), and you can too.
- MosCATo: As if you need a reason.