24 Funny Wine Quotes

Over the last 300 years people have pontificated about wine. From famous artists and politicians to anonymous writings that capture the meaning of wine, here are some of the top funny wine quotes from as early as 1200 to current day. Salut!

Funny Wine Quotes

napolean defeated drinking champagne

“In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.”

― Napoleon Bonaparte


“Beer is made by men, wine by God.”

― Martin Luther, circa 1500s


wine: the older I get the more I like it. wine comic cartoon by Wine Folly

“Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it.”

― Anonymous


“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”

― W.C. Fields, circa 1930’s


will-run-for-wine-hipster-bearded-man-jogging-illustration

“It takes a lot of good beer to make great wine”

― Brian O’Donnell, Winemaker of Belle Pente, 2013


“Champagne is appropriate for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.”

― Madeline Puckette, 2010


“Either give me more wine or leave me alone.”

― Rumi, circa 1200’s


aromas-in-red-wine-illustration-by-winefolly

“The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars.”

― Benjamin Franklin, circa 1700s


“What wine goes with Captain Crunch?”

― George Carlin


Life's too short to drink bad wine - funny wine quote - Wine Folly

“Life is too short to drink bad wine.”

― Anonymous


Wine divorce My Montrachet

“She gets to keep the chalet and the Rolls, I want the Montrachet.”

― Forbes Magazine, May 6, 1996


Illustrations of bottles of Champagne Rosé, Blanc de Noirs, Blanc de Blancs by Wine Folly

“My only regret in life is that I didn’t drink enough Champagne.”

― Robert Noecker


“Give me wine to wash me clean of the weather-stains of cares.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson


Bordeaux vs Claret... is there really a difference?

“I can certainly see that you know your wine. Most of the guests who stay here wouldn’t know the difference between Bordeaux and Claret.”

― Basil Fawlty, “Fawlty Towers”


“Nothing makes the future look so rosy as to contemplate it through a glass of Chambertin.”

― Napoleon Bonaparte


old-wine-bottle-illustration-comic

“Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.”

― Joan Collins


“Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.”

― Paulo Coelho


“Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.”

― Pope John XXIII


“Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.”

― Alexander Fleming


“A gourmet meal without a glass of wine just seems tragic to me somehow.”

― Kathy Mattea


“We all need something to help us unwind at the end of the day. You might have a glass of wine, or a joint, or a big delicious blob of heroin to silence your silly brainbox of its witterings but there has to be some form of punctuation, or life just seems utterly relentless.”

― Russell Brand, My Booky Wook


“Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.”

― Louis Pasteur


“One should always be drunk. That’s all that matters…But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.”

― Charles Baudelaire, circa 1850s


“Anyone who tries to make you believe that he knows all about wines is obviously a fake.”

― Leon Adams, The Commonsense Book of Wine


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About Madeline Puckette

James Beard Award-winning author and Wine Communicator of the Year. I co-founded Wine Folly to help people learn about wine. @WineFolly