The 6 Best Wines for a Breakup
If you’re feeling righteous, drink Champagne. If you’re full of regret, try Tannat.
Breakups suck. They might even inspire you to drink. So, if you’re going to drink, you might as well do it right! Here are 6 classic breakup situations and the wines to match them.
They Cheated on You
Treat yourself to a Brunello di Montalcino.
Noooooo. When you find out your special someone is philandering, it’s devastating. If you were to write your feelings down, they might start on one extreme of the emotional spectrum and finish on the other. Either way, you’re not getting back the time and energy you spent. It’s time to pay your respects (to your past self) and move on.
There is no better way appreciate yourself than opening a bottle of good wine (just for yourself). To match the physicality of this particular circumstance, we think the best damn choice is Brunello di Montalcino. This Tuscan delight is 100% Sangiovese, it’s Italy’s favorite red grape, and, get this, the grape’s name roughly translates to “the blood of Jupiter” (oddly fitting.) Brunello is one of those wines that needs time to open up—just like you need time to let go.
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You Made A Terrible Mistake
Most people who cheat or make other relationship-breaking mistakes justify their actions so they don’t feel bad about them. So, if you actually feel guilt and regret, there’s hope for you yet! You probably already know you have a compulsive behavior problem or other deep underlying emotional issue that caused this to happen. In either case, the road to recovery is long and hard and, honestly, worth every penny and every moment you spend on it.
Grab a copy of Mind Hacking or Switch on Your Brain (free kindle download) and a bottle of Tannat and take back control of your life. Why Tannat? The number one reason is because its high tannin makes it hard to drink fast. Right now, you need a sipping wine that you can take your time with. If you’re still swirling the same glass after an hour, then you’ve learned the hardest part of of mastering change: discipline. You got this.
The Love is Gone
It’s time for bubbles.
If you’ve actually done the deed and it’s over, good for you. Yes, you had many good reasons to stay together (kids, finances, belongings, your past lives together, other family, etc), but the fact of the matter is, you need to allow yourself to love again. The hardest part of this change is sorting out all the details.
Start your new reality with a bang. Open a bottle of vintage Champagne, Gran Reserva Cava, Millesimato Franciacorta, or any sparkler that’s been lees-aged for about 3 years. Why? Aging sparkling wine on the lees develops all kinds of refined bready, toasty, nutty notes—exactly the type of flavor (along with the carbonation) that you need to remind yourself that you’re a bad-ass.
They Became A Massive Jerk And You Couldn’t Take it Anymore
Cabernet has got you, bro/babe.
It started with little signs that you let slide because you loved them. Then, those little things got bigger and bigger until you realized (or maybe your friends did first) that they’re not the same person. They don’t love you, they use you. In fact, all those things you used to find cute you now see for what they really are. They are a jerk. Selfish. Gross. You deserve better.
Time for a wine that treats you right. It’s time for Cabernet Sauvignon. A great bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon is bold, yet elegant. Lusty, yet complex. Most importantly: it ages well. Geez, it almost sounds like the prototype of a good relationship.
Drink something older than you.
There’s something about them you want, correction: you need. Unfortunately, they don’t agree, so now you’re painfully alone. The longing is the hardest part. It’s this constant ache in your gut that can become unbearable if you let your thoughts consume you. The only thing that will fix this situation is finding a new purpose in life. You need perspective.
You might not think it, but it’s time to drink in some wisdom. For this, you’ll want to sip vintage Boal Madeira, or a 40-year Tawny Port, or a Sherry from a 100-year solera… whatever it is, it better be older than you. There’s something about consuming old wine that has a funny way of changing perspective. This is exactly what you need right now.
Long Distance Breakup
Lighten up with rosé.
Breakup by distance. The most bittersweet of all partings. It’s nothing anybody did. It’s just circumstance. Maybe it’s the end. Maybe it’s not. You don’t know. They don’t know. You’ll need something to enjoy for the now, for the bad dates in a new city, and the inevitable 2:00 AM Instagram stalk of your ex. You’re in a situation where you can allow yourself to live in the moment.
Rosé is your wine of choice. It’s cold. It’s light-hearted. It’s right now. You don’t know what the future will brings anyway, so why dwell? Go live the life that’s happening all around you. Go drink rosé. Try them all.