What Your Favorite Wine Says About You

Written by Madeline Puckette

Find out what your favorite wine says about your personality. Although, to be fair, as long as you’re drinking wine, there is already something very correct about you.

What Your Favorite Wine Says About You

what-your-wine-says-about-you

If you love Malbec…

malbec-wine-bottle
You have a box full of adult toys and you like to dip your pizza crust in ranch. Who wouldn’t want a wine that tastes like chocolate cake?


If you love Pinot Grigio…

pinot-grigio-bottle
You got into P. Grigio because it is the lowest calorie sugar-free drink that looks classy. Now you’re kinda stuck with it.


If you love Cabernet Sauvignon…

cabernet-sauvignon-wine-bottle
You like music with real instruments played by real musicians. You live by the motto: “No pain, no gain.” No one would dare use the word ‘subtle’ to describe your personality. Cabernet Sauvignon seems fitting.


If you love Sauvignon Blanc…

sauvignon-blanc-bottle
You heard that smart is the new sexy. This is great news because you’ve been a sweater-wearing smarty ever since you were eight. You like Sauvignon Blanc because it’s made in New Zealand and the Loire Valley of France; two places where sweaters are popular.


If you love Pinot Noir…

pinot-noir-bottle
You’re the person who loves the idea of the beach but hates sand in between your toes. Pinot Noir is the ideal wine because it’s not too fruity, not too herbaceous, not too tannic and not too bold. Your go-to color to wear is gray. You have a silver car.


If you love Rosé…

rose-bottle
You’ve figured out the socially acceptable way to day-drink.


If you love buttery Chardonnay…

chardonnay-bottle
You are aware that other people hate buttery Chardonnay but that won’t stop you from loving it. Chardonnay is like the adult version of pralines and cream. You still have a box of stuffed animals from when you were a kid.


If you love something French…

french-wine-bottle
You studied philosophy and know the proper way to pronounce “Anaïs Nin.” French wine may be rustic and hard-to-drink, but nothing truly profound is ever easy to swallow.


If you love Italian wine…

italian-wine-bottle
You’re a family guy/gal but you’re also a bit sadomasochistic. Arguing and bitter vegetables turn you on. Well hello there, radicchio.

If you love Sparkling wine…

sparkling-wine-champagne-bottle
Here are your thoughts on cocaine:

  1. You’ve never had it and you never will. You’re certain you’ll become addicted.
  2. You love it.

If you love Port…

port-wine-bottle
There are very few things better than cuddling up alone with a good book, a square of dark chocolate and a glass of fine Port. Now, please leave me alone.


If you love Biodynamic wine…

biodynamic-wine-bottle
Your bag is made of leather or a natural material like canvas. You ride a bicycle to work. You think that Biodynamic wine is the only responsible wine to drink. Get with the program people.


If you love White Zinfandel…

white-zinfandel-bottle
You’re really not that into wine… yet!

wine hangover character, a comic of regret

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Written byMadeline Puckette

James Beard Award-winning author and Wine Communicator of the Year. I co-founded Wine Folly to help people learn about wine. @WineFolly