Feel the need to justify your new wine habit? We’re here to remind you why you love wine with 99 reasons why you’ve been drinking it.
- Because fermentation is fascinating.
- There’s no such thing as wine-belly
- You need a serving of fruit everyday.
- Because beyond college, Master’s and Ph.D., this might just be the last tier of a higher education.
- You were going to give it as a gift, but decided to keep it for yourself.
- Some people find violet-stained teeth inexplicably attractive.
- You secretly enjoy the scent of sweaty saddle leather/ petroleum/ a mushroom forest.
- Because people look at you funny when you sniff, swirl, and slurp a glass of milk
- How else can you justify using words like supple, brawny, fleshy, and gripping.
- It pairs well with…well, everything.
- It stains your tongue (just like those awesome blue lollipops once did).
- How else are you going to finish that wine-cork Pinterest craft?
- Waking up with a wine line across your bottom lip is a token of a night well spent.
- You just learned how to properly pronounce Gah-vurz-tra-meener…even though you still can’t spell it.
- You recently watched a YouTube video on how to open a wine bottle without a corkscrew and you had to give it a try yourself.
- Mimosas are an acceptable breakfast food.
- You’re so fancy (Iggy Azalea).
- Because the pursuit of happiness is an unalienable right (and the movie was pretty good too).
- Taylor Swift songs put you in the mood for a glass of red. #love-em #hate-em
- You still believe in the merits of 2-Buck Chuck.
- You wanted to class-up the block party.
- It makes you socially fearless.
- Your Spanish conjugations improve after a glass or two.
- It’s important to hydrate after waking up.
- The Pope does.
- They say it’s always 5 o’clock somewhere, even though it turns out that’s really not true.
- Stemmed wineglasses make you feel like a real adult.
- You need something to wash down an awkward social experience.
- The recipe calls for 2 TB of white wine and you don’t believe in wastefulness.
- You can’t afford a massage and this is the next best thing.
- Wine tasting is like bar hopping during the day.
- Wine keeps you feeling and looking younger.
- The wine aisle feels like an oasis of happiness.
- It’s the only investment you can drink.
- It’s Monday night and it’s going to be a long week.
- Tuesdays need to be appreciated too.
- Wednesday starts with the letter “W.”
- It’s Thursday and there’s still wine leftover from #WineWednesday.
- It’s Friday night and you (don’t) have plans.
- It’s Sunday night and Monday morning looms.
- Because five glasses in a bottle is a screaming good bargain.
- Because it’s time to call your mother.
- Because your mother-in-law just called.
- Because you removed your cellphone battery so that no one can call and interrupt your “Me Time.”
- Because you just deleted your facebook account.
- Your dinner plate looks lonely.
- The holidays are coming.
- The holidays are over.
- Networking events make you feel nauseous.
- Your office called you and told you not to come in tomorrow, or ever again.
- You didn’t get the job/girl/boy/loan/joke.
- Your grandma just asked you to help teach her how to use her smartphone.
- You’re getting married.
- You’re not getting married.
- 9 months carrying a baby made you very thirsty.
- It’s the sweetest reward for surviving rush hour traffic and not yelling expletives.
- It removes stage fright almost instantly.
- Because it takes the stress out of air travel including altitude, recycled air, feeling like a sardine, and the chatty Kathy next to you.
- Studies suggest that wine may increase the sexual appetite of women.
- It makes your jokes funnier.
- It makes everyone else’s jokes funnier.
- Because wine ages well implies that you’ll age well too.
- Your dance moves need all the help they can get.
- If the glass is half empty, you’re not a pessimist, you open another bottle.
- Gorgeous wine labels make you feel warm and fuzzy.
- There’s something incongruent with drinking beer in a bubble bath.
- Because Benjamin Franklin was on to something: “Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance.”
- How else were you planning to finish your term paper?
- Sometimes if you get the fermented juices flowing the creative juices will follow.
- Wine tasting parties bring together dozens of bottles in one place and you don’t even have to feel guilty about trying them all.
- You know you want to.
- There are so many words that sound better with the word “wine” in-front of them: bottle, box, bag, world, vacation, dinner, store, snorkel…
- The less you dust, the more expensive your collection looks.
- We should all participate in water conservation.
- Because “wine and food pairing” sounds like they’re not meant to be apart.
- The movie #Somm was equal parts scary and inspiring.
- You’re Italian/ French/ American/ Argentinian/ Human.
- Mulled wine is better than Febreze.
- Grapes are a foundational part of the food pyramid.
- It’s after dark.
- Because someone offered to buy you a drink–might as well taste the good stuff.
- Because you said you’d never try online dating, yet here you are.
- It’s an election year.
- It’s not an election year.
- Last week you finally identified a smoky flavor in wine and you want to see if you can do
it again.
- Because sangria is practically a fruit salad, which makes it a health food.
- You’re trying to remember something.
- You’re trying to forget something.
- You need more room in the refrigerator shelf.
- Tailgating with Malbec tastes better.
- Wine is more delicious than straight-up vodka.
- It’s important to teach your kids good drinking habits.
- You need to wash the chocolate down with something.
- The calories have been counted and it’s clear that beer is not the winner.
- An article in your Facebook news feed says red wine is good for the heart.
- Because everyone knows red wine is good for a broken heart.
- It’s like a mini-vacation in a glass when you can’t leave the house.
- What other beverage offers antioxidants, probiotics, and a steady buzz?
- Because reading Wine Folly makes you thirsty.
